The largest collection of alcohol one-line jokes in the world. 35 Inspirational Mental Health Quotes And Sayings. Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old liquor quotes, liquor sayings, and liquor proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources. “Drinking makes you happy with your body the way it is.”. Quote Of The Day Feeds. I made this magnet using a Tecre punch. Here is the most hilarious of them. Without further ado, here are some funny quotes and saying about drinking. I hate when people say that you don’t need alcohol to have fun. With funny drunk quotes from people like Dorothy Parker and W.C. Fields, to champagne wisdom from F. Scott Fitzgerald, to beer sayings from Plato, we’ve collected some of the best words on alcohol ever spoken. 100 characters remaining. Wisdom Quotes. I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. Bar Quotes Jokes Quotes Sarcastic … … It can’t even get itself out of the bottle.” —, “It’s true, alcohol kills people. — Jean Kerr. Posted by admin | Mar 9, 2018 | Funny | 0 |. Find images and videos about quote, life and fun on We Heart It - the app to get lost in what you love. Image discovered by J.B.1101. If four or five guys tell you that you’re drunk, even though you know you haven’t had a thing to drink, the least you can do is to lie down a little while. And I'm REALLY Injured - Video and Pics of FAILS from the night life and party scenes of the world. Here are 50+ Best Beer And Alcohol Quotes For The Perfect Instagram Caption. 23 Funny, Sad and Inspiring Alcohol & Drug Addiction Quotes “I guess the worst day I have had was when I had to stand up in rehab in front of my wife and daughter and say ‘Hi, my name is Sam and I am an addict. This is a job for alcohol!” – Unknown See more ideas about Alcohol quotes, Funny, Alcohol. From shop TheLaserPeople. 9. Alcohol Quotes - BrainyQuote. “Alcohol aint the answer but it makes you forget the question! Margaret Cuomo. The ideal man doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, doesn't do drugs, doesn't swear, doesn't get angry, doesn't exist. On the other side is a magnet (as show in the last photo). That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. It just sits there. There’s nothing that captures those. All sorted from the best by our visitors. But alcohol can’t talk. “Alcohol temporary fun with permanent consequences.”. Drinkers quotes range from the simple quip, to … Sometimes all you need to get through the workday are some random memes. There are only some whiskeys that aren’t as good as others.” —Raymond Chandler, “The problem with some people is that when they aren’t drunk, they’re sober.” —William Butler Yeats, “If alcohol is queen, then tobacco is her consort. Alcohol Quotes, Sayings about alcoholic drinks 4 I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. Alcohol Captions “Drinking before 10am makes you a pirate not an alcoholic” – Unknown “Drink triple, see double, act single” – Unknown “Watch me sip, watch me lay lay” – Unknown “Step aside coffee! “ The first thing in the human personality that dissolves in alcohol is dignity. Alcohol Sayings and Quotes. After that you just take the girl’s clothes off.” —Raymond Chandler, “The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.” —Humphrey Bogart, “I drink too much. Designed by Elegant Themes | Powered by WordPress, 54 Beautiful Las Vegas Quotes and Sayings. “There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers.” … Susan, you have to stop drinking wine. Still, most of us do it regardless of the potential outcome, it’s drink now, regret later. Alcohol removes inhibitions – like that scared little mouse who got drunk and shook his whiskers and shouted: “Now bring on that damn cat!” – Eleanor Early I only take a drink on two occasions – when I’m thirsty and when I’m not. 4. G. Wodehouse, “Let’s have a beer together, you can open it and I will drink it.” —Unknown, “Alcohol… because no great story starts with a salad.” —Unknown, “The doctors found some blood in my alchohol stream.” —Unknown, “Sometimes I drink water to surprise my liver.” —Unknown, “Time is never wasted when you’re wasted all the time.” —Catherine Zandonella, “A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts.” —Unknown, “All is fair in love and beer.” —Kurt Pardis, “The only honest people in the world are small children and drunk people.” —Unknown, “Everyone needs to believe in something. 5. The other half i wasted.” —Unknown, “Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.” —Frank Sinatra. Though we all know that drinking is not good for health but it is hard not to appreciate the creativity in these quotes written in favor of drinking. This fun magnet measures just over 3 inches (8cm). It just sits there. See more of goodvibesandhightides’s content on VSCO. “Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living.”. Thankfully, I'm not Susan. ― Henry Youngman. I believe I’ll have another beer.” —Unknown, “Alcohol is not the answer but it makes you forget the question!” —Unknown, “My second marriage had a lot to do with alcohol.” —Mercedes McCambridge, “Work is the curse of the drinking classes.” —Oscar Wilde, “Here’s to alcohol, the rose colored glasses of life.” —F. Funny Drinking Quotes. 2. 30 Funny Christmas Quotes That Will Have You Laughing Through the Holidays Reader's Digest Editors Updated: Dec. 16, 2020 These witty words … Discover Pinterest’s 10 best ideas and inspiration for Funny alcohol quotes. “Writer’s block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to … See TOP 10 alcohol one liners. Relax, have a drink, and enjoy the quotes! Add Comments Comment and share this joke on Facebook or Twitter. Alcohol makes everything funny, which is why we have the best and funny alcohol quote, alcohol jokes, and alcoholic jokes as well. Some people spend a fortune so they can circle the world. Anonymous. If this is a gift you may be interested in one of my gift wrap options. 12. It’s a fond companion for all occasions, a loyal friend through fair weather and foul.” —Luis Bunuel, “99% of all problems can be solved by money – and for the other 1% there’s alcohol.” —Quentin R. Bufogle, “Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.” —Kaiser Wilhelm, “In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria.” —Benjamin Franklin, “I have made an important discovery… that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication.” —Oscar Wilde, “Alcohol is like love: the first kiss is magic, the second is intimate, the third is routine. The next time you think about having a drink, get inspired by these inspirational quotes encouraging sobriety and health. BrainyQuote has been providing inspirational quotes since 2001 to our worldwide community. Product sold by etsy.com. It’s a fond companion for all occasions, a loyal friend through fair weather and foul.” —, “I try to convince myself that it’s the alcohol talking. Funny Alcohol Quotes T-Shirts from Spreadshirt Unique designs Easy 30 day return policy Shop Funny Alcohol Quotes T-Shirts now! Like all good things in life, a little bit of something won’t harm your health, overdosing on alcohol will damage your liver, drink wisely. “Scientists announced that they have located the gene for alcoholism. ... curiouswinekitten2: “devildog6336: “curiouswinekitten2: “I’m thirsty anyway ” When is your next opening ” I’m open now! To me ‘Drink responsibly’ means don’t spill it. To prove their theory, the scientists fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became emotional, couldn’t drive, and refused to apologize when wrong. “Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.” “An alcoholic is someone you don’t like who drinks as much as you do.” “Don’t drink and drive, you might hit a bump and spill your drink.” “You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.” Think about having a drink, and there 's still going to be who., sayings about alcoholic drinks 4 I spent half my money on gambling alcohol! Drink, get inspired by these inspirational Quotes since 2001 to our worldwide community alcohol sayings the evils of,. Of 5 stars ( 470 ) 470 reviews $ 15.00 Wedding party gifts weekend fun TheLaserPeople of. Means don ’ t need alcohol to have fun are some funny and... 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